There was a time -- a grand and
glorious time -- when telling if a woman was single or not was as easy
as sussing out her attire. A ring on a finger; a pin on a sweater; a
jacket that is much too large for her enticing, delicate frame would
all be dead giveaways that your time was better spent on other
pursuits. Alas, this is no longer the case and women do not readily
advertise their relationship status. Something about feeling like a
piece of property, or something to this effect, is always given as a
reason. Luckily, there are other cues that may be subtle, but they are
there to help act as your pickup divining rod, and AM has them all here
for your to peruse and memorize.
Almost every time you turn to the Discovery Channel, you see some poor
creature that has wandered away from the pack and become vulnerable to
a fierce, lurking predator. Before the creature realizes that she is in
any danger, it's too late; the predator has attacked and the pack will
forever have one less member.
While the dating world is not
quite like the jungle, there are some similarities, such as the social
behavior of the female of the species. Just like many of nature's creatures, women often travel in packs -- as we first noticed in junior high.
Men have also maintained a kinship with the wild kingdom: Like the
predator, they are ultimately looking to satisfy a carnal instinct.
So find your predatory impulse and read on to learn how to break a
woman away from her pack. There are two tactical approaches: solo or
with a wingman.
the solo mission
Make no mistake about
it: Extracting a woman from her pack can be extremely difficult,
especially if you're going in alone. Her girlfriends have her back and
they will cockblock
you for a variety of reasons. Nevertheless, even the most insecure or
protective cockblocker friend will give you some respect for having the
courage to enter unchartered waters on your own. If you're on a solo
mission, remember that it's all about the approach. Let your target
know that she is the one that you are interested in. The best way to do
this is by deploying some subtle hints.
Maintain consistent eye contact
A big group of girls with a man in the middle can break into an all-out attention festival.
In your mind, it is painfully obvious who you are interested in, but
the entire group might not have a clue. To clear the confusion,
consistently shoot glances and exchange smiles with the girl of your
dreams. This will let her know that you have your eyes on the prize.
Break the touch barrier
Break the touch barrier with some intimate contact, such as by gently
touching her shoulder when you lean in to tell her a funny anecdote. If
you are at a club or other loud venue, place your hand on her lower
back and draw her closer to you so you can hear her better -- use this
technique even if you can hear her. Gauge her reaction when you break
the touch barrier; stop if she is uncomfortable and try again later. If
it is still early in the game, you may want to find a new target.
Address the group as a whole
Nobody likes to feel left out so you must be engaging with each member of the pack. In the end, you will need the
approval of the entire group, which makes this exercise a necessary evil. You will also have to go out of your way to
charm the pack member that is being the biggest problem in your conquest. She's usually easy to spot: Look for
the one with acne scars who keeps repeating, "Ladies, we're on a girls' night out, remember?"
grab a wingman
Every single man should have a friend who is willing to be designated as the wingman. If you're any kind of friend
at all, you should be somebody's wingman -- regardless of your marital status. A good wingman will pick his buddy
up from the bar at 3 a.m., because it's just the right thing to do. A wingman will also keep a pack of female
friends distracted long enough for you to run your game on your target of interest.
He collects information on
your target
A wingman can perform one or more tasks for you on your divide-and-conquer quest for a piece
action. He should help you look your best at all times and prevent whiney friends from separating you and your target.
While he talks with her friends, he can pump the group for information on the woman you're after. At an
appropriate time, he can relay the information back to you. The result of his hard work will sound something like:
"My favorite movie is actually Grease... Really, you too?... What are the odds?" The odds are
pretty damn good with a wingman in your corner.
He makes you look good
A good wingman will do
whatever it takes to make you look like the next Brad Pitt -- even if it means looking like a total ass. Whether it's by telling bad jokes or his most
embarrassing moments, he will do what must be done to make it seem like you wear a cape and fight crime at night.
He doesn't compete with you
A married friend can be the perfect wingman in many situations because he
is not looking to take anybody home. Therefore, his sole goal is to stop those who try to get in your way. How can you
not love those married guys who live vicariously through their buddies?
birds do it, bees do it
The Bloodhound Gang was right: We are just a bunch of mammals. Following their words of wisdom,
"let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel" and coax some of nature's beautiful
creatures away from their pack. It's a jungle out there, guys.
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